Janet stared into the unknown, wondering if she should go. No she would tell herself when the urge was too great. It may be dangerous. Someday she would care. Someday she would be brave and run out into the unknown to face the world she belongs to now. Someday; but not today.
Closing her window, she sat back on her bed and closed her eyes. She covered her ears. She became deaf and blind to all that was around her, and ignored the shame that filled her. This was her choice. Why should she be ashamed?
Feeling cold inside she wrapped herself in her blanket. This would warm her; heal her. It would make her feel strong again. This was all she could do to feel normal and right.
What had made her this way? She didn't remember. Had it been the lovers that had abandoned her after the harsh ways they used her body? Or was it the insults her family so easily threw at her in their drunken state? She really didn't know. But she did know that this was not the day she was willing to find out.
Ducking her head in the covers she closed herself off. Someday she would care. Someday she really would be brave and forgive, but that was not this day.
